Halloween Woes

October has been a not so great month anyway, as far as weather goes anyway. It just brings a person down. Add in the stress of a blended family, and its just a sarcastic joy to get out of bed in the morning.

Holidays are pretty touchy around here as you may well imagine. Halloween being one that was never put on the visitation schedule. It was just left as where ever it fell, that's where my step daughter would be. Because I have a friendly relationship with my daughters father, we would from time to time, go trick or treating together if he was not working. That way he could see her as well. Although we knew it wouldn't work as well with my husband ex, we decided to try it the last few years. It was OK. Tolerable. Unfortunately, after this last year of stress and the way tempers have flared, with her calling the police on me, and the behaviors of my step daughter, we decided we would just do trick or treating alone this year.

Yesterday, the local school calls, and wants me to come pick up my daughter because she is showing signs of the flu. We are normally suppose to have my step daughter this weekend. We decided, due to the flu, we would try to keep it localized, and called his ex asking if she would keep my step daughter this weekend in exchange for next Thursday and Friday. You see, she didn't have school next Thursday and Friday. With out even answering the question, she says, "Do I get to go trick or treating with you guys". My husband said, "I'm sorry, that would be a no". I'm sorry but what does she expect after the last month, that I'm going to go skipping down the street with her and my step daughter having a gay old time??? I can't even fathom it. So, she spends the next half hour on the phone yelling at my husband about everything he has done wrong while caring for their daughter....I finally said loud enough for her to hear, OK, you guys are way off track. Either we pick her up tonight and expose her to the flu, or we pick her up next week after everyone is better. She finally just said OK, what ever and hung up the phone. I can't handle her crap. There are days that evil things run through my mind. And I am not an evil person. I love my children and my husband, and yes even my step daughter. As many times as I tell my self, that two wrongs don't make a right, and that you should do unto others as you would have done to you....It at times is just not enough to stop me from feeling so much anger towards his ex. I would sometimes call it loathing. And I feel awful inside, just for feeling that way about someone else. God help me...can I survive until she's 18? And even then will it change a thing?