The Beginning of Reality

I have three wonderful children of my own. When I was 21, I had twin boys, then divorced. At 27, I had daughter, and divorced again. So really, I was well versed on disfuntional families and motherhood. Or so I thought. Not that I went into my third marriage with my eyes closed, or arrogant. I just felt I had what it took to be a good step parent. To begin with, I was going to have it easy. The child wasn't here yet. I also came from a blended family, so I knew about being a step-child. When the relationship began, his ex was pregnant. It was a risk, I know. But in hind sight, I was so in love, I could never have imagined what someone elses unborn child could bring to my future.

I was there with my "boyfriend" at the time, when his daughter was born. Well, not there, at the hospital. He wasn't even there at the hospital. He went to the hospital while his ex was in labor, and was basically told to leave. Not even allowed to see his daughter make her apperance into the world. We had gotten a motel room there in the town where she was to be born. It was the day after Christmas, and they were inducing his ex that morning. So we made sure we were there in town the night before. I didn't want him to miss a thing. Unfortunately for him, his ex made sure he did. He did go back later, to hold his daughter, but it was very short lived.

She used every excuse in the book at first. She was breast feeding, the baby couldnt be away from her for any length of time. So we took what we could get. It started as a few hours here and there. And she would purposly send the baby with not enough breast milk, knowing when she was out, that was the end of the visit. I would try to make the visits longer for my boyfriend by giving her water in between, but they still ended too soon. It was an awful divorce and custody battle, and I could see how hard it was for him to be away from his daughter. It worked up to overnights, and weekends. And then finally after a year it came time for the divorce hearing. The judge ordered 50/50 custody and placement. His ex had made the mistake of bringing the baby to the courthouse. (who brings the baby to their divorce hearing?) So, the judge ordered that he got to take her home right then and there. A small victory. And so it began......